For twenty-eight years I believed I needed Valium for my anxious state of mind. Two years after Valium use I know that I didn’t, but at the time I was so dependent and addicted I saw no way without it!
From April 1990 until February 2018, I had a prescription for Valium (Diazepam). This prescription changed in dosage but not medication.
In February, Two Years After Valium Use
It is Christmas 2019 and two years will complete in February 2020, but I am so content and so free of Valium finally. It has been about a year since I have wished for the drug during a time of stress.
I’m sure most of this is the state of mind I now have with a Valium-free system. For me, this is possible due to CBD! There is nothing that gives me more success from my anxious feelings! I remain faithful with my daily dose now every morning and evening.
CBDBioCare is the company I choose both to be a Sales Representative for and to purchase my own CBD from monthly.
CBDBioCare offers a great assortment of CBD Full-Spectrum products and the offer of the profitable opportunity to be a CBDBioCare Sales Representative! Please check out this opportunity at CBDBioCare Sales Representative!
Twenty-Three Months After Valium
Almost two years after the end of Valium use, I admit I cope with some anxiety. What has changed is the way I medicate myself. I don’t take any narcotics! I choose my CBD from CBDBioCare that is organically grown.
CBD is a natural, herbal remedy on which you do not overdose and end up in the ER or worse! No one has ever died on CBD! Which is not true about the narcotic Valium (Diazepam)!
I am not a medical professional so all I can give is life experience and opinion. Please consult your chosen healthcare professional before starting or stopping any medications.
Thank you for reading along with me! Please Leave me your Comment, Opinion, or Life Experience, Especially If You’re Bipolar!
I think it’s time to have a study in balance, and so we will. Every time I undertake to write on this Blog, it is a study in balance. Finding I usually work best under pressure, It is different on this Blog. When I think about balance, it brings a serenity to mind.
Winter is here. In the heartland, there is a snowstorm with icy roads and snow drifts. The weather people are warning everyone to stay in out of the bad weather. They advise to not drive in the snowstorm tonight unless it is an emergency. Some will adventure out anyway, and will have to be rescued!
Here in the Southern part of the United States, it gets cold, and sometimes we have snow. But it is seldom the bad bitter cold weather of the North. I think our weather is more balanced. In Florida, where the temperature is predominantly the same year round it is truly balanced.
Add Walnuts For Balance
After I finished reading an article on walnuts, I was so impressed, I must tell you all I could about them. They are so good to taste! Yes, English Walnuts, I had to get me some! Delicious! Whether you bust their shell and eat them raw or wait and roast them lightly for about fifteen minutes, Walnuts are delicious!
I am going to write more concerning Walnuts and Being In Balance as a Bipolar later.
Winter Garden Gates Keep In Balance
While I write snow is softly falling outside my home, and I did not know it was forecast. I was simply musing about all of the wintry weather up north. The central heat is so expensive, but it rarely kicks on. We have a small 3-burner gas stove and it heats our small home enough with our usually mild weather.
Keeping Bipolar & ADHD In Balance
Walnuts are a Superfood and it doesn’t matter if you like English or Black Walnuts, both are a Superfood! I will be mostly writing about English Walnuts because those are the kind I am eating. They are a brain delight for Bipolars since Walnuts are stress relievers and help with depression to keep the mood in balance.
These wonderful snacks are full of Vitamin B6 and Fatty Acids similar to those in Salmon. Walnuts don’t cause a sugar rush and can be eaten during the day at lunchtime for children or adults. They are wonderful to eat raw or toast lightly for fifteen minutes in the oven.
I am going to put some by the TV and on the counter in the kitchen for a healthy snack anytime! Anytime does not mean over-indulgence. Too much to the point of overdoing and you’re not in balance, and with walnuts that could mean diarrhea.
In Balance With CBD BioCare
One thing that helps keep me in balance is CBD Products from CBD BioCare. I need the CBD Oil daily that I find helps me with Anxiety and Chronic Pain. Allowing me to forgo pain pills I used to take, I am pleased.
Children Social Anxiety Disorder
When I was five in 1955, I was in Kindergarten and we had ‘Show and Tell’ in class. I was unprepared for what happened to me when I walked in front of that group of children.
My breakfast was in my throat and the room swam in front of my eyes. I couldn’t speak, and I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t even cry. My Teacher is an older woman, a seasoned-teacher, who has been educating children for several years.
This is a beautiful, fall day in Southern California and my Teacher simply takes my hand and firmly guides me outside. Sitting with her in the shade of a tree while children played around us, I began to feel better. We have no idea what is wrong with me! Years later, I know this is my first remembered Anxiety Attack!
When I am thirty-nine in 1990, I am diagnosed, Severe Anxiety, Bipolar 1 from birth. At the time I am diagnosed I am having up to three Anxiety Attacks a day. Some people have many more!
The diagnosis becomes Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), and I continue my lifetime of living it. Now though, I am medicated by a physician. Day to day life does get easier for me and my family, and I am more in balance.
Overdosed On Heroin
I am not in balance today. Six days ago I received a call from a close family member telling me someone had overdosed on Heroin. He was close to me although I had not seen him in years. I watched him as a child growing up with hardships no one could do anything about at the time! Now I know, I nor anyone else, knew what was being done to this boy’s mind.
Then there were the family stories of his escapades with different drugs through the years. The stories told during the twenty-three years of his young life were not flattering to him or my family.
After the funeral, I find out the final report says “By Heroin Overdose.” This is heartbreaking! Generations of drugs and Depression in my family, and in this generation a man succeeds in death. Why? Why was this one given up?
False Study In Balance
This started as a study in balance but some family news can throw you off balance, or at least, it can me. I am still sitting in my recliner, at the computer, though my world in my mind has been turned upside down.
What should I have done eighteen years ago when I saw this happening to him? He was a small boy and his world was turned upside down. Through illness and weakness, his life was changed for the worse and he was helpless. I often cried out about, why no adult came to help me when I was a child? But I survived. Why him? Why didn’t he?
All I can cry out is WHY? So Someone would ask, “Where is your faith?”
To All, I must say, “My mind is shaken, my faith is not. To have faith does not mean you don’t question the evils of this world or the failings in yourself.”
That’s all I’m going to say about that, I don’t have time to deal with that right now, I have a crisis in my mind. Peace about eternity I have, but coping with this world’s problems is a whole different matter.
I apologize for so scattered a post, but honesty is what you will get from me. That is the reason I have blogs, to talk to my readers, to share my story.
Overdose at 23, Attempted Overdose at 19
Aaron died of an overdose at twenty-three with the drug in his life at the time. At the age of nineteen, I attempted an overdose with every medication in the cabinet in the bathroom! I am assuming the great pain and depression was somewhat the same with both of us!
And Remember, when I write, I reference my other blogs, and think on thoughts I have written earlier. Thus, bringing up facts I may have forgotten, or feelings with which I have not dealt.
If You Hurt, Tell Someone
Was the only difference that he chose hidden alone in a public place, where no one found and saved him. I chose in my home and was discovered by friends, and even the police in time to be saved. That is a frightening, slim difference.
Aaron had many friends attend and speak at his Funeral Service and he was much mourned by them. Why did he not go to his family or friends with his pain and desperation? I remember from my youth. He figured his pain was bigger than him so it was bigger than them, too! Listen, what’s too big for one is not too big for a family! Or a couple of friends!
Through the years I tried to learn to talk to my friends and to share my painful feelings with my sister. I discovered they cared! They tried to listen to what I had to say and said how they felt about what I had discussed with them.
Stay A Home Mom
So my husband works very hard and keeps me a nice home, and every weekend we go to his mother’s for him to go hunting. In the first ten years, we have two children, and we are helicopter parents; we seldom leave them with babysitters. If the two children can’t go with us, we don’t go.
We go as a family on the weekend to my husband’s parent’s house so he can hunt, fish, or garden. Sometimes we stay home and work in our own garden for my husband is a hard worker, and he is always helping someone. My husband is very dependable and everyone depends on him.
I learn to cook more Southern food, sew lots of things, knit, and crochet. Every new baby received a knitted or crocheted blanket. One Christmas I was manic and I sewed thirty-eight blue denim vests for the men and boys in my family.
Nerves – Depression – Bad Health
I had bad times with my nerves and depression, and a lot of bad health. Two ruptured discs in my lower back made it impossible for me to keep up with my husband. Even with two back surgeries, I was not in good shape.
Two mis–carriagges and a hysterectomy by age thirty-three set me up for some situational, hormonal, mental and emotional problems. All I knew was, my nerves were bad, and no nerve medicine I tried had given me any relief.
Depression and a realization of my own worthlessness usually left me feeling totally over-whelmed. I would curl up on the sofa and cry for days and no one did anything. When I could I fed the family, when I couldn’t my husband brought home food. My husband just told me, most of the time I got up and cooked food.
Brain Surgery & Emotion Not In Balance
In winter 1990, my husband has brain surgery to remove a tumor and the surgery is a total success. The neurosurgeon tells us the hen-egg size tumor at his Temporal Lobe has flattened his emotions for the last twelve to fifteen years. So according to his doctor his emotions have not been in balance!
The neurosurgeon forbids my husband from driving for six months, thinking this would keep him from going back to work too soon. He controls himself for three months, and gets a friend to share a ride to work and drives him!
Then coaxes his employer into letting him work part-time. This determined man has a supervisory position so he takes light-duty and it is alright. His job is his life.
Then I ask the doctor if he would be my doctor, too, and he said he would if I would see another doctor for him. Dr. Manning told me he had been observing me, too, during my husband’s visits, and I needed a special kind of doctor. I needed a neurological-psychiatrist in his opinion because he thought I needed special testing.
I had years before then stopped seeing medical doctors. But there was something special about the way my husband’s doctor took care of him. Watching intently, I liked what I saw.
Bipolar In Balance
Five weeks later I saw Dr. Dietrich Blumer, neurological-psychiatrist, and he was in his early sixties. I took some tests, had long interviews with the doctor, and then it was time to begin several new medications. In two weeks my life changed!
Later Dr. Blumer would give me my diagnosis, Severe Anxiety, Social Anxiety Disorder, Bipolar 1 Disorder. I would continue to spend my life learning to live with these disorders. (Now I am sixty-eight years old.) The doctor told me I had this from birth.
I also am diagnosed with Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, and I have a dysfunctional TMJ which causes severe head and face aches. I wear a mouth brace for the TMJ problem.
I have Bipolar 1 Disorder, and sometimes the mania would get out of my control, and I would go into the hospital. My Psychiatrist would mix me up a new cocktail of psyche medications and a short time would pass. There would be loneliness, learning, and adjustment to drugs but it would work, and soon, I would go home.
The depressive times for me I remember being worse than the mania times. But I take my medication religiously, for I lived thirty-nine years as an unmedicated bipolar. I didn’t like it, and I am sure I prefer to be medicated. Now I have lived twenty-nine years medicated, and twenty-eight of those years I was also on an opioid and a narcotic.
A Year Without Valium (Diazepam)
Next month, I will celebrate a year without Valium (Diazepam). Not one and it wasn’t easy but I am doing it. Now I am positive I am still coping with an addiction to Valium (Diazepam). For I dealt with physical withdrawals, and I still feel the draw to wish for a Valium during stressful times.
In July 2018 I stopped taking Oxycodone and found out I wasn’t mentally addicted, but I was physically dependent. I replaced the opioid with Lyrica and CBD from August till October and then saw my Pain Specialist.
Holly was serious with me and she told me I had given myself an opiate holiday.
If we could look into each others lives at the joys and burdens we share in common, we would not judge each other so harshly.
There seems to be a great deal of writing here, and not so much balance. But there are many kinds and ways to be out of balance and in balance. We will look into this soon.
Thank you for reading along with me! Please leave me a comment, or an opinion, or a life experience, especially if you are a Bipolar!
There is only one of you, and you are a unique individual. In all the billions in the world, there is only one of you with your specific gifts and needs. No one knows what makes you healthy and happy like yourself if you are a healthy adult. You will learn what brings your life into balance.
Others with their gifts, education, and professions can help you in these endeavors to be your best self. It is up to you to seek them out, for you will discern who you need. If you see you need a doctor, go to a doctor.
When your health suffers there are many reasons, and many times it is because your life isn’t in balance. Don’t run after any and all new fads for they will come from spurious thinking instead of sound thinking. But you must not be afraid to try new things!
Bring Your Food Into A Healthy Balance
We have to make decisions about the care and well-being of our bodies, souls, and spirits. When all of them are in good health, we are in balance! Know yourself enough to know when you are in an unhealthy place.
Out of balance means illness of all kinds. If the chemicals and food taken by the body are out of balance, it’s trouble. You need to bring your food into a healthy balance. Sometimes you need to check the chemical intake of your diet or prescriptions, even water.
The answer is simple, sometimes the working out of the solution is not so smooth. Finding we are not in balance should not be a fearful thing but only a starting place. Changing your diet has to be an excellent place to start.
Case Against Gluten – Food Allergies
Something I thought was a fad but turned out to be true for me is the case against Gluten. I had read several times our bodies were not made to digest grains, but I found it was any food not Gluten Free. For years, yes years, I took gastric medications for symptoms. When I stopped eating Gluten, diarrhea stopped and hasn’t come back.
Be aware if you want to try this, Gluten is in a lot of things. From oatmeal for breakfast to spaghetti for supper, you have to seek food with no Gluten. Food allergies are very often hidden culprits in poor health. My Gastrologist tried different medications for fifteen years with no success for me, then I learned about Gluten, and symptoms changed!
Safe, Clean, Drinking Water
There are a few private or community wells with safe, clean drinking water. From different ways to purify your water, and it’s not drink bottled water, we’ll help. Deciding which way to do it is, of course, up to you.
Water in a few of our major cities is being corrupted by old rusty pipes, lead in the ground-water, and sewage seepage. Water bottles contribute to the mounting plastic pollution in our waterways and oceans.
Choosing water bottled in aluminum cans is another idea. Deciding which way to do it is, of course, up to you, but water is for sale in aluminum cans and is recyclable.
Seek a source of fresh water, even if it is filtering your tap water. I found a few good filters for tap water and one that hydrolyzes and energizes water at the same time. The Turpur Filter is the one I am speaking of now.
One entrepreneur wanted to get clean water to the children of the world. Greg Stromberg wanted to help in a way more direct than a check donation. He formed CannedWater4Kids, and kids in Flint, Michigan, Zambia, Africa, and Guatemala are benefiting.
Fundamental M.D. – Medications
There are important ways to get your body in balance if you sense it is not. After water and diet, it is time to check your medications and supplements. To begin, know your own body so when something is wrong, you will be the first to know about it.
Check with your chosen healthcare provider about your health and medications. I suggest you have a Fundamental M.D., to tell you about your medications and herbal supplements. The knowledgeable owner of a holistic food and supplement store can be beneficial, also.
Herbal Supplements & Medications/Side-Effects
As you learn the difference between symptoms and side-effects, you will take more learned care of your body and mind. Some of the medications and supplements have side-effects like nervousness, anxiety, depression, and anger that affect the brain.
Mouth & Teeth Care Are Are Part of Life Into Balance
While you are checking your health don’t forget your mouth and teeth, for regular cleanings will save a great deal of pain. People will spend fortunes on medications and supplements, and nothing on their teeth.
I will have herbal supplements on this website at some point, but each thing in our life has to have its own place. Give care and cleaning to your mouth and your teeth, and keep them for a long time.
Remember to keep your mouth, tongue, and teeth in mind when you bring your life into balance.
State of Mind – Serotonin
Then practice a thing I have never been able to do, and that is reign in my mouth when I get upset. I aim for blistering diatribes against my enemies. Not good for relationships, for when I am irritated, I make enemies out of loved ones. This is not good for life’s balance.
While I’m here, it is a great place to write about our minds, our mental states, and what goes on in our brain! First of all, besides the tissue and nerves, there are essential chemicals. The one I am most familiar with is Serotonin.
Important to Know If You Have Bipolar Disorder, and I Do
Without enough Serotonin and you are sad/depressed/irritable. With too much Serotonin and you are manic/spend-too-much/anxious. Serotonin is by no means the full story about Bipolar or in any way the answer to a medical illness, but it is involved in our comfort.
This is important to know if you have Bipolar 1 Disorder, and I do. It affects my thinking and my writing of course.
Treatment For Bipolar Disorder
I want my readers to be aware that I have Bipolar disorder so you will happily grow with me. Being balanced in my mind has very much to do with brain chemicals, medications, nutrients, and therapy. My best therapy is writing for my readers.
Bipolar disorder is something not easy to live with in this one polar world, but we try and succeed. That is the message to all with this horrible disorder that kills a good percentage of its victims by suicide. Read on please Bipolars this is for you.
One Suicide Attempt At Age 19
Achieving the age of sixty-eight with a forty-nine-year marriage is an accomplishment of which I am honestly proud. And thankful, for without such a stable husband, I could not have done it. To have done this with only one suicide attempt at the age of nineteen, as a person having Bipolar 1, I am absolutely cheering!
Adding here I asked to be hospitalized seven times in Behavioral Health for Bipolar 1 Mania episodes, for which I had to have help. Also, it has to be noted as very important, at the age of thirty-nine I was given an excellent neurological-psychiatrist.
Dr. Dietrich Blumer was my physician for nineteen years until he retired at the age of eighty. At that time I saw nine young psychiatrists in each of their graduate years as they came back for further studies. Those were interesting years after the steadiness of Dr. Blumer.
I have finally found a neurological-psychiatric nurse who is managing my medications. This is still on trial, but so far seems to be working. I know I am hard to medicate and difficult to keep out of mania, so we shall see.
Vraylar – Medication for Anger and Mania
Vraylar is a new medication for anger and mania, and I am not adding supplements without discussing with my doctor. I have added St. Johns Wort in the past and overpowered some medicines.
Herbal supplements cost extra money, and they are worth it. But sometimes we value them for what good they will do, without considering harm their misuse can do. CBD Oil helps me control anxiety and pain, and it is a natural herbal supplement.
Bringing Your Life Into Balance
Bringing your life into balance takes more than one action, and more than one blog post to discuss it. This is my first post on the blog here, but it won’t be my last.
Thank you for reading along with me! Please Leave me your Comment, Opinion, or Life Experience, Especially If You’re Bipolar!